It’s no secret that we love one on one meetings here at Spinach AI. And it’s no surprise either — one-on-ones are the most important meeting in your calendar. 

…when run effectively. 

It’s easy to throw a meeting in your calendar each weekbut it’s harder to put in the effort to ensure you’re getting the most out of this essential time with your direct report.  In factaccording to our research33% of managers agree that one of the biggest challenges of one-on-ones is ensuring they’re providing value to their direct reports. 

We want to help make sure you are. That’s why we’ve compiled a list of tips to help you create reciprocal value in these important touchpoints. Without further adohere are 37 tips to help you every step of the way:

• Tips for before your one-on-one meeting
• Tips for during your one-on-one meeting
• Tips for after your one-on-one meeting

Before your one-on-one meeting

A little prep work goes a long way when it comes to having effective one on one meetings. Even if it seems a little forced at firstyou’ll quickly get into the habit of scheduling prep time and creating agendas.

Here are a few tips to help you prep for your one-on-one:

1. Decide on a time and cadence that works best. If this is your first one-on-one with an employeedecide what time works best for both you and your direct report to meet and a cadence you can reliably commit to.

2. Schedule recurring meetings. Make your 1:1s low effort by booking a recurring meeting rather than a new one each week. Then you’ll both have them in your calendar long-term and won’t forget to book the next one.

3. Set expectations for your team. Start by telling them exactly how you want your one-on-ones to go. Explain both your role and theirs. For exampleif you want them to own the meeting (this is typically the case)make that super clear from the get-go!

4. Get the right tech in place. Make sure you and your direct report have all the tools you need for a seamless meeting. Depending on whether you’re meeting virtually or in personyou may need to consider a video calling appa brainstorming toola one-on-one meeting software (we know a guy 😉)or any other remote tools that may be helpful.

🤓 Helpful resource: Make sure you introduce the tech you’re using to your team beforehand. If you’re using Spinach AI to facilitate your 1:1 meetingshere’s some guidance for how to introduce the app to your team.

5. Add questions to your agenda. Don’t wing your one-on-one. Think of questions or items you want to discuss in advance and add them to the agenda. 

🤓 Helpful resource: Check out Spinach AI’s pre-made 1:1 agenda templates to get started with an effective one on one meeting agenda.

6. Use a shared agenda. Using a collaborative agenda will allow both you and your direct report to add agenda items and prepare for the meeting ahead of time. Henry O’LoughlinFounder of Build Remote explains:

“Have one shared document or place where the recurring agenda lives. Thenhave a section where either of you can add topics to be discussed in the next 1:1 meeting. That waypeople can add ideas right when they think of themrather than waiting and potentially forgetting.”

– Henry O’LoughlinBuildremote

7. Ask your direct report to contribute. Don’t just share the agendaalso explicitly ask for input so it’s clear to your direct report that it’s their meeting to discuss what they want.

8. Keep everything in one place. Corral all of your one-on-one meeting agendas in one central and accessible place that you both can access at any time.

9. Send a reminder. Give your employee a little nudge a day before the meeting to fill out the agenda (if they haven’t already). 

10. Set aside time beforehand. Block off 10 minutes before the meeting to collect yourself. You don’t want to go into a one-on-one meeting hot off the heels of a sales call or a big team meeting. Use the time to review your agenda and truly show up focused and prepared.

11. Treat one-on-ones as high priority- Vinay Vishnumurthy AdigaManager of Software Engineering at Jobber explains “Remember1:1 meetings are not a second class citizen in comparison to other priority meetings that you might have. Always treat them as high priority meetingsso that you are in a right mind-space before you talk with your team members.”

12. Never cancel- The last tip for before a meetingand maybe the most important: don’t cancel. When you cancel your 1:1s you send the wrong signals and imply that the meeting isn’t in fact high priority. Sounless you’re on vacation or illdon’t cancel or move this meeting.

During your one-on-one meeting

Once you’re in your one-on-oneyour biggest focus should be on creating a psychologically safe space. Psychological safety is the number one characteristic of a high-performing team. And one-on-ones are a key opportunity to build that safetyand create an environment where each of your team members can thrive and grow. 

Here are a few best practices to help you have safe and effective one on one meetings:

13. Show up on time. Similar to cancelling your meetingshowing up late sends the wrong signals. Nothing makes a person feel more undervalued than when their time is wasted waiting for you to show up. Try to be on timelike you would for any other important meeting.

14. Be present. Sometimes it feels like there are a million and one things competing for our attention. During your one-on-onetry to remove potential distractions and be present. That might mean turning off Slack notifications or flipping your phone over. Amalia FowlerCreator of Wholehearted Manager Newsletter explains:

“Bring your whole self to the meeting. Put everything else awaytry to forget the frustrating call you just had or what’s coming up later. Make it towards the end of the day if you can.”

– Amalia FowlerWholehearted Manager Newsletter

15. Start with an icebreaker.  This can be as simple as asking about what they’re looking forward to. Or how they’re doing. Andrea RajicMarketing Manager at Gablelikes to start her one-on-ones off by asking “how are you doing?” because “it’s one of the many [questions] people forget to ask when the day-to-day gets overwhelming. Stopping for a few minutes to discuss how we’re feeling is a prerequisite to feeling appreciated and heard.”

16. Do less than 50% of the talking. It’s easy to fill uncomfortable silences with your own voice. Don’t do that. Let your employees lead the conversation and choose questions that will open up the discussion. Stop yourself if you feel like you’ve been talking too long (trust usyou’ll know).

17. Listen to understand. Less talking= more listening. But beyond listening to respondmake sure you’re actively listening to try to understand the root of where your employee is coming from. Exercising your listening skills is an important part of being an inclusive leader. John Thomas LangDirector of Marketing at ChargeAfterexpands on the value of active listening:

“Your teammate is probably looking for a place to share their mind and may have some great ideas or insights to share with you. By showing that you can actively listen in a setting like thisyou show that you care. You show that they can share their ideas and have a great soundboard to listen and react. Acknowledge and empathize with what you hear and take actions as needed.”

– John Thomas LangChargeAfter

18. Be curious- To truly understand your direct reportdon’t make assumptions about where they’re coming from. Demonstrate curiosity. Stephanie BaiocchiDirector of Membership and Events at IMPACT explains“I try to ask at least 3 questions to get to the root of an issue or help the person find a solution before I do any responding or problem-solving.”

19. Avoid status updates. Meg MurphyManager of Product Marketing at Visual Leaseexplains: “Use your agenda for asynchronous status updates whenever possible. 1:1s are for feedbackfocus areasblockersand feelings. It’s a time to check in on everything other than a status update.”

20. Talk about goals. Company goalsteam goals and professional development goals alike— one-on-ones are a good time to talk about where your direct report fits into the bigger pictureand how they’re contributing to the company and team goals. Plusget an understanding of what their personal goals are so you can work towards them together. 

21. Share feedback. Feedback isn’t only for quarterly reviews. If nothing elseyour one-on-one needs to be a safe space to share feedback. Whether big or smallyour one-on-ones are a consistant opportunity to address any concerns as soon as possible so your direct report has the chance to course-correct. Thenwhen it does come time for quarterly reviewsno one’s left blindsided.

22. Ask for feedback.  Feedback should flow both ways in a one-on-one.  Butunderstandablyit can be difficult for direct reports to share constructive feedback with their managers — especially unprompted. So ask specific questions to elicit feedbacklike: “What can I be doing differently to help you be successful?”

When people ask for your feedbackit’s a mark of respect. They value your knowledgeskillor taste.

When they don’t hesitate to give you feedbackit’s a sign of trust. They have faith that you’ll take it as an opportunity to grownot a threat to your ego.

— Adam Grant (@AdamMGrant) October 232021

23. Don’t get defensive. Getting defensive when you receive constructive feedback from your team is a sure-fire way to never receive feedback again. Instead— listendigest and learn. 

24. Make a lettuce pact. To help foster a culture of two-way feedback in one-on-onesone of our favourtie hacks is the lettuce pact. 🥬 Learn more about how to try the pact with your team to encourage a culture of feedback. 

25. Ask about the goodbad and ugly. We mean this literally: add“What’s goodwhat’s badwhat’s ugly” to your agenda (or your version of this). This is a great way to gut-check how your team member is feelingand get to the root of what has them excited (and overwhelmed!).

26. Be vulnerable first.  If you’re not vulnerable with your teamyou can’t expect them to do the same with you. As a leaderyou set the tone. So don’t be afraid to ask a silly question or admit fallibility — it’ll help you build a stronger relationship.

27. Pay attention to non-verbal communication. Your posture and tone say a loteven if you’re not intending them to. Be sure to send silent cues that you’re open and listening. If you’re doing a remote one-on-onethat means looking at the camera and not doing other work on your computer. Make an effort to connect.

28. Avoid yes or no questions. Open up the conversation by avoiding close-ended yes or no questions. If you do ask a yes or no questionfollow-up with a why.

🤓 Helpful resource: If you’re looking for inspirationcheck out this list of 121 tried and true one-on-one questions. 

29. Get personal to build rapport. Noyou don’t need to spill your whole life story. But being relatable and open in your one-on-one meetings will help you have meaningful conversations and build a foundation of trust. Kenna GriffinContent Director at Content Journeyexplains:

“Don’t just go through a list of things you need to say or know. Give some time for getting to know your employeesespecially if you manage remote teams and don’t get to see them regularly.”

– Kenna GriffinContent Journey

30. Don’t go beyond your scheduled time. If your meeting runs a bit over once in a while it’s not the end of the world. But don’t make a habit of it. To help ensure consistencyit’s helpful to keep your meetings within the time allotted. 

31. Start and end on a positive. Even if you’re having a tough conversationor dealing with some negative feedbacktry to end on a positive note. Whether that’s “We’ll tackle this together,” or some other encouragementit’ll send you both away feeling motivated.

After your one-on-one meeting

A common mistake that managers make with their one-on-ones is not following up on conversations. During your one-on-onetake meeting notes and identify any next steps that need to be taken. To ensure an effective one on one meetingafterwardyou need to make sure that all those decisions and conversations weren’t for nothing. 

Here are a few tips to help you follow up and stay accountable after your one-on-one:

32. Put your notes in a central place. Whether you’re taking meeting notes or meeting minutesif the discussion’s not documenteddid the meeting really happen? Be sure that your employee has access to the notes you took during the one-on-one to refer back to.

33. Assign next steps. Hold each other accountable by assigning next steps. Make sure to outline who’s responsible and when it should be done by.

34. Revisit past meetings. Both you and your employee should be able to quickly and easily access past meeting notesto review next stepsdecisions made and conversations covered. 

35. Ask for their outlook. Create a baseline by consistently asking your employee for their outlook after your one-on-one meeting. Has their outlook gotten worsebetter or stayed the same? Monitoring feedback can help you track engagement and identify red flags faster.

36. Understand your blind spots for next time. Oftentimes1:1 discussions get kiboshed by work topics. Every once in a while it’s helpful to step back and check in on whether you’re having balanced conversations. If you’re notthere’s likely a lot that you’re missing. 

🤓 Helpful resource: Spinach AI provides meeting insights based on your agenda items to let you know which areas you’re neglecting week over week.  

37. Follow upfollow upfollow up! What’s the point of making decisions and setting action items if you don’t check in on them? Remember to check in with your employee on what was discussednext steps and any feedback given. They’ll appreciate the steps you take to ensure they feel heard.

Feeling overwhelmed? Don’t be! It seems like a lotbut once you get goingall these one-on-one habits will start to feel like second nature. The most important core things. to remember? Preparecreate psychological safetyand follow up – the rest is icing on the cake. 🍰

We’ve got a whole one-on-one meeting guide to help you through. Plusif you’re looking for more guidance on how to make your one-on-ones more meaningfulbook a free session with one of Spinach AI’s leadership experts:

What should you do now

Now that you've read this articlehere are some things you should do:

1. I think you will love our library of meeting agenda templates for every type of meeting.
2. You should try Spinach to see how it can help you run a high performing org.
3. If you found this article helpfulplease share it with others on Linkedin or X (Twitter)