What is empathy?

Empathy is the ability to understand or share the feelings and perspectives of others. It involves putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and understanding why they feel the way they do.

Most people have some degree of natural empathybut it can be as much a skill (something we learn) as it is a trait (something we have). Learning to be empathetic involves taking time to learn and acknowledge what others think and feel.

What is the difference between empathy and sympathy?

“Empathy” and “sympathy” are similar terms. People sometimes use them interchangeablybut they have slightly different meanings.

The American Psychological Association defines “empathy” as the ability to understand another person’s perspective and feelings from their point of viewrather than your own. In some casesit can cause you to vicariously experience another person’s feelings as if they were your own.

Meanwhile“sympathy” can mean any of the following:

• Concern or compassion for another’s hardship
• The ability to understand and share others’ feelings
• A general accord between people

What is the difference between empathy and compassion?

“Compassion” is another term that’s similar to both empathy and sympathy. It involves recognizing the suffering of othersusually along with a desire to help.

What part of the brain is responsible for empathy?

Empathy involves different areas of the brainbut it mainly starts in the anterior insular cortex.¹ Studies show that the right anterior insula is activated when we empathize with someone’s pain or emotionswhile the left anterior insula is important for both feeling and thinking about others’ emotions.²

Examples of empathy

We express empathy in a variety of waysincluding: 

• Actively listening to others and being genuinely interested in their livesthoughtsand emotions
• Considering how other people feel and validating their emotionssuch as by saying“It makes sense that you feel that way”
• Sharing in others’ joy and sadness
• Offering support to someone going through a tough timelike asking “How can I help?”
• Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes to understand their perspectiveeven if it differs from your own
• Expressing concernasking thoughtful questionsand demonstrating patience when someone shares an experience
• Taking action to help others in needlike volunteering or assisting a friend
• Offering comfort through words or appropriate physical gestures like a hug
• Celebrating others’ achievements and milestones with genuine enthusiasm

Types of empathy

In generalresearchers acknowledge two main types of empathy:³

1. Cognitive empathy: The ability to identify and understand other people’s mental state. For examplebeing able to accurately read someone’s body language and tone of voice.
2. Affective empathy (or “emotional empathy”): The feelings we have in response to someone else’s emotions. Being distressed when someone else is upset is an example.

Other variations include:

• Somatic empathy: A physical reaction to what other people are experiencing—such as feeling physical pain when someone else gets hurt. 
• Radical empathy: Feelings that go beyond simply recognizing another person’s emotions. It involves actively striving to better understand and share in the feelingsexperiencesand lives of others. 
• Tactical empathy: A negotiation technique that involves understanding the feelings and mindset of another person to influence the outcome of the negotiation. It’s a strategic use of understanding another’s emotions and perspective to achieve a specific goal or result. 

What is the opposite of empathy?

The opposite of empathy would be apathywhich is characterized by a lack of interestenthusiasmor concern for others’ feelings and experiences. Other terms that can be considered opposites of empathy include indifferencecallousnessand insensitivity.

How empathy impacts mental health

Empathy is an important skill to develop because it helps us form healthy relationships. If you have too littlean underlying mental health condition may be playing a role. Similarlyif you notice you’re overly attuned other people’s emotionsa mental health condition may also be contributing.

Lack of empathy

People who lack or have little empathy may find it hard to form close relationships. There is no one term for someone who has no empathybut they may be described as “unfeeling” or “apathetic.” In some severe casesa person may be referred to as having traits of psychopathy or sociopathywhich include a lack of empathy among other characteristics.

In and of itselfstruggling with empathy does not mean a person has a mental health disorder. Howevercertain mental health conditions have been associated with low empathyincluding:⁴ 

• Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD): NPD involves an overexaggerated sense of self-importance. People with the disorder might still be able to show empathy and compassionbut it doesn’t come naturallyand it may be used to manipulate others.
• Psychopathy and sociopathy: “Psychopathy” and “sociopathy” aren’t clinical terms—they refer to different expressions of antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). People with ASPD may struggle to have and express emotional responses. Those who display psychopathic or sociopathic behaviors might act as if they have empathybut have difficultly genuinely feeling it.
• Borderline personality disorder (BPD): People with BPD may struggle with empathy due to their intense and unstable emotions. They might have difficulty distinguishing between their own feelings and those of othersleading to misunderstandings and conflicts in relationships.
• Autism spectrum disorder (ASD): People with ASD may struggle with cognitive empathymaking it challenging to recognize and understand others’ emotions. Howeverthey can still experience affective empathy and feel compassion for others. Some people with ASD may be overwhelmed by intense emotional responsesleading to difficulty expressing empathy appropriately.
• Machiavellianism: Machiavellianism isn’t a mental health disorderbut a personality trait that involves a lack of empathy and often manipulativeness to gain power.

What is dark empathy?

“Dark empathy” refers to empathy accompanied by malicious intentions.⁵ A “dark empath” can understand and resonate with others’ emotionsbut instead of using this understanding for compassionate purposesthey exploit it—often for personal gain or to manipulate others.

This concept combines cognitive empathy with the “dark triad” of personality: narcissismpsychopathyand Machiavellianism. People who experience dark empathy might seem empathetic because they can identify with what someone else is feelingbut their intentions remain self-serving.

What is empathy fatigue?

Identifying too intensely with other people’s feelingsparticularly negative onescan be overwhelming and cause emotional distress. This is sometimes called “hyper-empathy.”

Empathy fatiguesimilar to compassion fatigueis an emotional and physical exhaustion that can occur when someone is frequently caring for or helping people who are suffering. Interestinglysome researchers believe that compassion does not fatigueand it’s actually empathy that depletes people.⁶

Empathy fatigue can happen to anyone who provides support to othersespecially over long periodslike healthcare workers or caregivers. Symptoms can include feeling overwhelmedtiredirritableand sometimes feeling less compassionate or numb towards the suffering of others.

Empathy fatigue likely poses similar mental health risks to compassion fatiguewhich has been linked to:⁷ 

• Anxiety: Extremely empathetic people (sometimes informally called “empaths”) may worry excessively about the pain or suffering of othersbe on high alert around other people, or become too focused on how others feel and perceive them.
• Depression: Highly empathetic people may feel more intense pain when hearing about the suffering of othersand they may be vulnerable to depression.
• Codependency: Someone with high empathy may put other people’s needs above their own. It involves a lack of boundaries where a person becomes over-identified with someone else’s strugglesleading to emotional burnout or neglect of their own well-being. This is sometimes informally called “toxic” empathy.

Empathy in therapy

While certain levels of empathy occur naturallyit’s also a skill that can be learned. In therapypeople who lack empathy can learn skills such as self-reflectionself-compassionand communication. People with very high empathymeanwhilemight seek help managing negative feelingsdepressionor anxiety.

If you’re struggling with issues around empathytherapy can help. Browse our provider directory to find a specialist in your area.

Tips for practicing empathy

Developing a healthy amount of empathy helps to promote compassionkindnesscooperationand connection. It can be practiced daily to improve your relationships. The following are tips for practicing empathy:

• Put aside your own viewpoints and imagine yourself in the other person’s shoes.
• Ask questions and actively listen without interruptingthen summarize what the other person has said to ensure understanding.
• Try to understand people even when you don’t agreepaying attention to social cuesbody languageand cultural background.
• Allow yourself to be vulnerable with others and offer support when appropriatewhile respecting emotional boundaries.
• Reflect on your own biases and how they may affect your ability to empathize.
• Show compassion and concern without immediately trying to fix the problem unless asked.
• Encourage others to express themselves fullyproviding a safe space to share thoughts and feelings.
• Take care of your own emotional health to be more present and supportive for others.
• Practice gratitude for the trust others place in you and express that appreciation to them.