Empathy Defined

Empathy is a building block of morality—for people to follow the Golden Ruleit helps if they can put themselves in someone else’s shoes. It is also a key ingredient of successful relationships because it helps us understand the perspectivesneedsand intentions of others. Here are some of the ways that research has testified to the far-reaching importance of empathy.

• Seminal studies by Daniel Batson and Nancy Eisenberg have shown that people higher in empathy are more likely to help others in needeven when doing so cuts against their self-interest.
• Empathy is contagious: When group norms encourage empathypeople are more likely to be empathic—and more altruistic.
• Empathy reduces prejudice and racism: In one studywhite participants made to empathize with an African American man demonstrated less racial bias afterward.
• Empathy is good for your marriage: Research suggests being able to understand your partner’s emotions deepens intimacy and boosts relationship satisfaction; it’s also fundamental to resolving conflicts. (The GGSC’s Christine Carter has written about effective strategies for developing and expressing empathy in relationships.)
• Empathy reduces bullying: Studies of Mary Gordon’s innovative Roots of Empathy program have found that it decreases bullying and aggression among kidsand makes them kinder and more inclusive toward their peers. An unrelated study found that bullies lack “affective empathy” but not cognitive empathysuggesting that they know how their victims feel but lack the kind of empathy that would deter them from hurting others.
• Empathy reduces suspensions: In one studystudents of teachers who participated in an empathy training program were half as likely to be suspendedcompared to students of teachers who didn’t participate.
• Empathy promotes heroic acts: A seminal study by Samuel and Pearl Oliner found that people who rescued Jews during the Holocaust had been encouraged at a young age to take the perspectives of others.
• Empathy fights inequality. As Robert Reich and Arlie Hochschild have arguedempathy encourages us to reach out and want to help people who are not in our social groupeven those who belong to stigmatized groupslike the poor. Converselyresearch suggests that inequality can reduce empathy: People show less empathy when they attain higher socioeconomic status.
• Empathy is good for the office: Managers who demonstrate empathy have employees who are sick less often and report greater happiness.
• Empathy is good for health care: A large-scale study found that doctors high in empathy have patients who enjoy better health; other research suggests training doctors to be more empathic improves patient satisfaction and the doctors’ own emotional well-being.
• Empathy is good for police: Research suggests that empathy can help police officers increase their confidence in handling crisesdiffuse crises with less physical forceand feel less distant from the people they’re dealing with.

For more: Learn about why we should teach empathy to preschoolers.

Humans experience affective empathy from infancyphysically sensing their caregivers’ emotions and often mirroring those emotions. Cognitive empathy emerges later in developmentaround three to four years of ageroughly when children start to develop an elementary “theory of mind”—that isthe understanding that other people experience the world differently than they do.

From these early forms of empathyresearch suggests we can develop more complex forms that go a long way toward improving our relationships and the world around us. Here are some specificscience-based activities for cultivating empathy from our site Greater Good in Action:

• Active listening: Express active interest in what the other person has to say and make him or her feel heard.
• Shared identity: Think of a person who seems to be very different from youand then list what you have in common.
• Put a human face on suffering: When reading the newslook for profiles of specific individuals and try to imagine what their lives have been like.
• Eliciting altruism: Create reminders of connectedness.

And here are some of the keys that researchers have identified for nurturing empathy in ourselves and others:

• Focus your attention outwards: Being mindfully aware of your surroundingsespecially the behaviors and expressions of other peopleis crucial for empathy. Indeedresearch suggests practicing mindfulness helps us take the perspectives of other people yet not feel overwhelmed when we encounter their negative emotions.
• Get out of your own head: Research shows we can increase our own level of empathy by actively imagining what someone else might be experiencing.
• Don’t jump to conclusions about others: We feel less empathy when we assume that people suffering are somehow getting what they deserve.
• Show empathic body language: Empathy is expressed not just by what we saybut by our facial expressionsposturetone of voiceand eye contact (or lack thereof).
• Meditate: Neuroscience research by Richard Davidson and his colleagues suggests that meditation—specifically loving-kindness meditationwhich focuses attention on concern for others—might increase the capacity for empathy among short-term and long-term meditators alike (though especially among long-time meditators).
• Explore imaginary worlds: Research by Keith Oatley and colleagues has found that people who read fiction are more attuned to others’ emotions and intentions.
• Join the band: Recent studies have shown that playing music together boosts empathy in kids.
• Play games: Neuroscience research suggests that when we compete against othersour brains are making a “mental model” of the other person’s thoughts and intentions.
• Take lessons from babies: Mary Gordon’s Roots of Empathy program is designed to boost empathy by bringing babies into classroomsstimulating children’s basic instincts to resonate with others’ emotions.
• Combat inequality: Research has shown that attaining higher socioeconomic status diminishes empathyperhaps because people of high SES have less of a need to connect withrely onor cooperate with others. As the gap widens between the haves and have-notswe risk facing an empathy gap as well. This doesn’t mean money is evilbut if you have a lot of ityou might need to be more intentional about maintaining your own empathy toward others.
• Pay attention to faces: Pioneering research by Paul Ekman has found we can improve our ability to identify other people’s emotions by systematically studying facial expressions. Take our Emotional Intelligence Quiz for a primeror check out Ekman’s F.A.C.E. program for more rigorous training.
• Believe that empathy can be learned: People who think their empathy levels are changeable put more effort into being empathiclistening to othersand helpingeven when it’s challenging.

For more: The Ashoka Foundation’s Start Empathy initiative tracks educators’ best practices for teaching empathy. The initiative gave awards to 14 programs judged to do the best job at educating for empathy. The nonprofit Playworks also offers eight strategies for developing empathy in children.

What Are the Pitfalls and Limitations of Empathy?

According to researchwe’re more likely to help a single sufferer than a large group of faceless victimsand we empathize more with in-group members than out-group members. Does this reflect a defect in empathy itself? Some critics believe sowhile others argue that the real problem is how we suppress our own empathy.

Empathyafter allcan be painful. An “empathy trap” occurs when we’re so focused on feeling what others are feeling that we neglect our own emotions and needs—and other people can take advantage of this. Doctors and caregivers are at particular risk of feeling emotionally overwhelmed by empathy.

In other casesempathy seems to be detrimental. Empathizing with out-groups can make us more reluctant to engage with themif we imagine that they’ll be critical of us. Sociopaths could use cognitive empathy to help them exploit or even torture people.

Even if we are well-intentionedwe tend to overestimate our empathic skills. We may think we know the whole story about other people when we’re actually making biased judgments—which can lead to misunderstandings and exacerbate prejudice.