As parentssexual intimacy can be a challenge. Sometimes we’re completely exhaustedand other times all the kids are home and in your businessor you’re not feeling up to it.
No matter what challenge you and your partner are facing in the bedroomchanging things up with new sex positions for couples could help jump-start your sex life once again.
Here’s more on why trying new sex positions can be helpful – and some moves to try tonight.
New Perspectives
According to researcheven couples struggle to communicate about sexwhich can lead to hesitation around trying new things in the bedroom.
The study goes deeper to find out that there’s – not surprisingly – a different perspective between how women and men feel about trying new sex positions. Men are most concerned about their partner not being satisfiedwhile women are mostly embarrassed about trying new positions.
“Sometimes we get so stuck in our comfort zone that we just need a little push to explore something new and rekindle the spark in our relationship. Trying a new sex position can be a good excuse to make that happen,” Jenny WadePhDsex therapist and couples therapist at LetsTalkSex.net tells us.
“Make it a point to break your routine,” Wade adds. “If you are used to starting or ending with the same position every timemake it a conscious choice to change this. Have funexperimentand let your wild side out.”
Trying new positions as a couple can lead you and your spouse to reach new levels of intimacy in the bedroombut there are other advantagestoo.
“It allows you to accept the desires of your spouseincrease your desire for each otherenhance your bondand even promote good health,” adds Dainis Graverisa certified sex educator and relationship expert at SexualAlpha.
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Sex Positions for Couples: Is Missionary Dead?
We’re listing some sex positionsbut before we dodon’t count out good ol’ missionary.
“The missionary position is the Honda Civic of sex positions. It’s reliable and practically the only position portrayed in rom-coms,” reveals Mike Andersona resident sex expert for OhMy.ca with a bachelor’s degree in psychology and a PhD in human sexuality. “But we’ve all heard the stigma: It’s boringit’s unoriginalit’s lame. Even some of my patients claim that it doesn’t hit the right spots.”
Anderson agrees that missionary alone won’t do the jobbut what will get the job done is“all the stuff that should accompany it.” For instancehe suggests:
- Pulling your partner in closer
- Running your legs against your partner’s body
- Putting your hands through their hair
- Adding noises
“Seeing their partner respond positively turns them on more and thusmakes the sex altogether better,” Anderson notes.
“Most women I talked to agree that men are at peak hotness in missionary,” Anderson adds. “From their points of viewguys look primal. Their arms are bulging from balancing over us and their abs are crunched and rippling. It’s a great view for the ladies. Missionary is hot; if you don’t think soyou’re not doing it right.”
A Few Guidelines Before Getting Busy
If you’re experimenting with new sex positions with your spousehere are some brief ground rules to know first:
Take the time to talk.
“The best thing is to negotiate consent and communicate beforeduringand after,” suggests Sammi Blaquesexologist and founder of The Venus Collective. “Beforetalk about your needs and wants. Duringtalk about how it feelshow and what you enjoy. Afterdiscuss if you want to do it againwhat you enjoyedand what you might like differently.”
Don’t be afraid to change things up mid-action.
“For positions that you think you can do but during the deed find a bit uncomfortabledon’t hesitate to tell your spouse about it,” suggests Graveris. “They can perhaps take it slowoffer some form of support like pillowsor again find another position that both of you find more comfortable.”
Warm up first.
Graveris recommends couples find guides with images or videos of these new positionsstretch ahead of timeor even sign up for a yoga or tai chi class to increase flexibility.
“There’s really no harm in trying new positions,” Graveris adds. “Experimentexperimentexperiment. The time that you spend trying these positions is also a great way to bond with your spouse.”
Nowit’s time to dig into the sex positions for couples you’ll want to try tonight.
Try a lap dance.
“If you have fantasized about stripping in front of your spousethen this position is worth trying,” Graveris says. “Instead of having sex right awayyou and your partner can intensify your pleasures by indulging in some striptease. (You can even add some sexy lingerie into the mix).”
He suggests adding some feel-good elementssuch as grinding against your partner or adding some playful touches as you strip. Get creative!
Try the koala.
“This is a great sex position to try if you have a husband who likes carrying you around. Drape your partner’s shoulders and your legs over his hips. Have his hands on your buttocks as support while he enters you,” Graveris suggests.
Try the cuddle squat.
“If you’re craving some cuddles and face-to-face time with your spousethen this position is perfect,” says Graveris. “Have your partner sit down first and face you. Then you sit on top of his erection and bounce up and down.” Same-sex couples can also take advantage of face-to-face with room to play.
More from CafeMom: Cuddling Feels So Much Better Than Sex ItselfAccording to Science
Try the chair.
This is the perfect sex position for couples who are into very deep penetrations and want to experiment outside of their bedroom. Have your partner sit on the edge of a chair or a stair as you sit on top of them with your back to themsuggests Graveris.
Try the empowered bridge.
“Lay on your backbend your kneesplant your feetlift your hips,” Blaque explains. “Your partner can position themselves between your thighsand you have the power to tilt and angle your pelvis in various directions for optimal pleasure.”
Try a butterfly.
“Lay on your backsoles of your feet togetherand allow your knees to open,” says Blaque. “You can place pillows under your kneesbackand pelvis for added support. Great position for you to relax and receive. This positions well during foreplay and penetration.”
Try the lovers' lift.
“Lay on your back,” suggests Blaque. “Have your partner approach and enter you on their knees. Lift your legs and place them on your partner’s shoulders. This gives your partner more control and allows them to liftor angle themselves to stimulate sensitive spots that maximize pleasure.”
Try a 69.
“This position requires a lot of vulnerability between partners; nonethelessgiving and receiving oral sex at the same time between partners is one of the most intimate things that you can do. Many women claim to feel the most connected to their husbands in this position. While in this positionmake sure that you maintain a little space for easy breathing. You can also spice things up by trying this position side-by-side on the bed,” Graveris advises.
Try the pleasure arch.
Warning: This position does require some serious flexibilityso we suggest taking it slow and warming up if you need to.
“If you’re on the flexible side and you love the 69then this is one sex position that you should try. You sit on your partner’s face and then arch your back and take your partner in your mouth. It’s not the most comfortable position to sustainbut once you achieve ityour world will undoubtedly be turned upside down,” Graveris says.
Try the socket.
“This position is great for couples who have a foot fetish. It’s akin to the reverse cowgirl positionbut the woman should bend forward all the way and stretch her legs to give her man a full backward view,” Graveris says. “You can add some support to your back by putting a pillow underneath if you struggle to hold your waist upward.”
Try the X factor.
“Have your partner lay on their back and spread their legs open. Get on top facing away from them. To get the most out of this position stretch your legs back behind youand rock while they’re inside,” Blaque suggests. “You can use your hands on their legs for extra supportand they can touch for legsand heinie for additional contactloving touchand stimulation. This position stimulates the clitoris wonderfully.”
Try a sexy squat.
“Have your partner lay on their back. Mount them facing towards or away. Bend your knees and plant your feet so that you are in a deep squat on top of them. You can slowly lower yourself up and downor bouncing wildly and rhythmically,” Blaque says. “Your partner can help you by placing their hand under your bum to support you. In addition to up up and down movementtry incorporating circular and front to back pelvic motions. Great for deep cervical orgasms.”
Try mirror sex.
“Position yourself in front of a mirrorwith your partner entering from behind. Watching yourselves in the mirror is an added visual enhancement. Have your partner hold you closely while they’re behind you to deepen intimacy,” Blaque suggests.
Try a yab yum.
“A tantric classic. Have your partner sit. Then sit down on top of them facing them. This position is all about intimacy,” Blaque explains. “Look into each other’s eyesbreathe togethermelt into each otherand experience true union.”
