Alienation of Affection: What Is It and How to Prove It

Alienation of affection is a common law tort claim that allows a spouse to sue another person for depriving them of their partner's affection. To win these kinds of lawsuitsthe plaintiff (the suing spouse) must prove that the defendant (the third party) intentionally interfered with their marriageresulting in alienation of affection.

Specificallyto win such a claimthe suing spouse must show that:

• The couple was happily marriedand genuine love and affection existed between them.
• The defendant's actions contributed to destroying the marriage's love and affection.
• The defendant acted intentionally or maliciously to alienate the spouse's affections.
• The loss of affection ultimately led to the couple's separation or divorce.

If the suing spouse can prove these elements in courtthey may be awarded significant monetary damages intended to compensate for emotional distressloss of companionshipand other harms associated with the failed marriage.

Todayjust six U.S. states still allow spurned spouses to file lawsuits against the person they deem responsible for ruining their marriage:

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If you're considering an alienation of affection claimcontact a local family law attorney.

Alienation of affection originates from old English common law principles allowing a husband to sue another man for "criminal conversation" with his wife. Criminal conversation referred to adulterywhich gave grounds for a lawsuit seeking monetary damages from the affair participant.

Alienation of affection evolved from criminal conversation tortsapplying more broadly to interference in the marriage relationship—even without proof of adultery. By the late 1800smost U.S. states recognized alienation of affection as a legal cause of action for spurned spouses.

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At the timemarried women had few rightsand divorce was difficult to obtain. Alienation claims gave spurned wives some legal recourse against mistreatment or abandonment by their husbands. By the mid-20th centurystate laws changed to grant women more autonomy. With the availability of no-fault divorcealienation of affection claims decreased substantially by the 1970sthough a handful of states retained the tort. 

Todayalienation suits are still filed but far less frequently than at their peak in the early 1900s. While modern sensibilities may question this old common law tortit continues to give spurned spouses a way to hold third parties legally accountable for failed marriages in the states where alienation claims remain valid.

When seeking to make a claim on the grounds of alienation of affectionit's not as simple as just stating that a third party caused the love in your marriage to dissipate. 

There are specific core elements that must be proven for a successful "affection claim."

1. Affectionate Marriage Existed

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Firstlythe marriage must have been characterized by genuine love and affection. This doesn't mean that the marriage had to be perfectbut rather that a tangible bond of affection was evident and recognized.

Indicators of an Affectionate Marriage:

• Frequent expressions of love and care
• Shared life goals and values
• Regular intimate momentsboth emotional and physical
• Mutual respect and trust

2. Defendant's Conduct Led to Alienation

Secondlythe conduct of the third party (the defendant) must be demonstrated. It should be evident that the defendant's actions were malicious or wrongfulleading directly to the erosion of marital affection.

Examples of Defendant's Conduct:

• Engaging in a secret romantic relationship with the cheating spouse
• Manipulative behavior or consistent negative influence
• Actively creating situations causing marital discord

3. Loss of Affection Occurred

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There must be a clear causal link between the defendant's behavior and the loss of the spouse's affection within the marriage. It's not enough for a plaintiff's spouse to simply have lost feelings; the loss must be directly attributable to the defendant's actions.

4. Separation or divorce followed the alienation. 

Finallythe plaintiff has to establish that the alienation of affection was the proximate cause of the marriage ending via separation or divorce. Timing and sequence of events is critical.

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Alienation of affection is often confused with the related concept of criminal conversation.

While the two torts have some overlapthere are important distinctions:

• Criminal conversation requires proof of adultery. For a criminal conversation claimthe suing spouse must prove their adulterous spouse engaged in sexual intercourse outside the marriage. Alienation of affection has no such requirement.
• Alienation is broader. Alienation laws apply to any malicious interference with the marriageeven without extramarital affairs. Acts like abuseneglector financial sabotage could qualify.
• Different damages awarded. Criminal conversation solely provides damages for sexual transgressions. Alienation covers a broader range of harm from the broken marital relationship itself.
• Alienation laws are more prevalent today. Most states have abolished criminal conversation laws due to societal changes. Alienation suits are still permitted in a handful of states.

While an extramarital affair could form the basis of both tort actionscriminal conversation requires concrete evidence of adultery. Alienation of affection focuses more broadly on emotional attachments and the marital relationship as a whole.

Understanding these subtle differences is important for anyone considering filing an alienation lawsuit.

In the few states where alienation of affection remains validthe legal implications can be significant for those involved in an alienation of affection lawsuit. 

For the plaintiff (the suing spouse): There is the potential to be awarded substantial monetary damages intended to compensate for the emotional distressmental anguishand costs associated with the failed marriage. Howeverthe plaintiff must be prepared to prove their case in court with evidence and testimony.

For the defendant (the accused third party): An alienation claim can mean facing an expensivereputation-damaging legal battle. Even if the defendant is exoneratedthe publicity and legal fees can be punishing. In some casesthe defendant may settle the lawsuit out of court to avoid further hassle.

Damages: If found liable for alienation of affectionthe defendant can be ordered to pay out compensatory and (in some rarer cases) punitive damages. Awards can total over $1 million in some instances. The prevailing plaintiff may be able to garnish the defendant's wages or put liens on their property if damages are not paid.

For the parties involvedthe family trauma becomes a publiclitigated ordeal with lasting legal consequences.

What states is alienation of affection legal?

An alienation of affection claimonce recognized nationwideis now only legal in a handful of states. Over timemany jurisdictions dismissed it as outdatedwhile some retained itbelieving in its efficacy in safeguarding marital bonds. 

The most notable is North Carolinawhere several high-profile cases have been litigated under its alienation of affection law.

Here are some examples:

• In 2019, Robert Howard was ordered to pay $750,000 by a North Carolina Court to Exie Howard for alienating her husband's affections.
• In 2018a judge ordered Keith King to pay $8.8 million in damages to his ex-wifeDaniellefor having an affair with her friend.
• In 2005, Cynthia Shackelford won a $9 million judgment against Anne Lundquisther husband's alleged mistress.

Other states where such claims can be made include HawaiiMississippiNew MexicoSouth Dakotaand Utah. 

It's essential to consult local family law experts in your jurisdiction to understand the current legal stance.

What proof do you need for alienation of affection?

How successful are alienation of affection cases? Wellthe burden of proof can be hefty.

A plaintiff must show:

1. The existence of genuine love and affection in the marriage.
2. The love and affection were alienated and destroyed.
3. The defendant's malicious conduct directly caused this loss.
4. Separation/divorce followed the alienation.

Evidence can range from messageswitness testimonies about the defendant's actionsor even professional accounts about the decline in the marital relationship after the defendant's interference.

What constitutes alienation of affection?

Alienation of affection is not limited to extramarital affairs. It encompasses any intentional actions by a third party leading to the erosion of affection and emotional support within a marriage. 

This can include:

• Consistent interference or badmouthing by in-laws or friends.
• Emotional relationships that breach the sanctity of the marital bond.
• Deliberate attempts by a third party to sow distrust or jealousy.

The underlying theme is an external entity's intentional disruption of marital harmony.

Is alienation of affection hard to prove?

Yesalienation of affection claims can be challenging to substantiate. The complexity arises from the need to prove not just the loss of affection but that the defendant's direct actions caused this loss. 

It's not about showcasing marital discord but linking it concretely to the third party's interventions. This often requires a mix of tangible evidence and testimoniesand even thensuccess is not guaranteedas emotions and relationships can be multifaceted and subjective.

Despite evolving social norms and lawsalienation of affection continues to give jilted spouses legal recourse in a handful of U.S. states. While these lawsuits have certainly decreasedNorth CarolinaHawaiiMississippiNew MexicoSouth Dakotaand Utah maintain the tort of alienation of affection. In these statesthe law enables spurned husbands and wives to hold third parties financially accountable for the breakdown of their marriage.

Yetpursuing litigation comes with no guarantee of victory or validation. The plaintiff must decisively prove malicious intent and causation on the defendant's partwhich sets a high legal bar.

Alienation of affection laws remain controversialand their fate is uncertain. Stillfor those whose marriage ends bitterlythis old common law doctrine retains relevance today as a way to seek revenge against an unfaithful spouse and their partner or redemption in the courts.