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For 58 yearsmy mother’s side of the family has gathered each July for a reunion.
It started with a simple picnic on a chilly and rainy July 4th. Three of my mother’s siblings—Gerry
and John and their familiesalong with younger sisterMargie—packed a picnic basket and headed to South Parkjust outside of Pittsburgh.
What began as a spontaneous get-together soon expanded into an annual tradition. All seven of my mother’s siblings and their families soon joined to honor their parentsJohnand Veronica Figlar. In 1979we began using the acronym ALAFFFArepresenting the siblings’ various surnames: AbbottLizanovAlzoFiglarFiglarFiglar and Augenstein. My Uncle Johna talented commercial artisteven created a special logo.
The ALAFFFA reunion has been a part of my life since I was a young girl. Each iteration was something for my cousins and me to look forward tono matter the ups and downs of life. The annual reunion has endured as a touchstone—even through the COVID-19 pandemic.
“Reunion reaction to the pandemic was rather surprising,” says Edith Wagnereditor-in-chief
of Reunions Magazine. “Many reunions continued their meetings via Zoom including activities and families having ‘banquets’ with branches in their own homes.”
If planning a family reunion is one of your goals this year (or in the future)our step-by-step guide will help you get ready.
Step 1: Plan with a Purpose
Whether you’re organizing a smallintimate event or a large-scale celebrationpreparation is your secret weapon for success.
Before diving into the logisticstake some time to determine the purpose of your reunion. Is it to celebrate a milestone like a birthdayanniversary or retirement? Or is it simply a way to reconnect after years apart? Understanding your “why” will shape the event’s toneactivities and goals.
Nextenvision what you want the reunion to look like. Consider the size of your familythe atmosphere you want to create (casual or formal)and the general preferences of your relatives. Do you see everyone gathered for a weekend retreator is a single-day event more realistic? Having a clear vision
will make the planning process smoother. For the more nuts-and-boltslogistical itemscheck out the checklist below.
Finallyhave a backup plan. Your reunion will face unexpected challenges even if it’s meticulously organized. Prepare for potential weather issues using tents or other shelter optionsand have plenty of indoor activities scheduled for those who are sensitive to heat or environmental conditions. Have a first-aid kit on hand and communicate any health guidelines with handwashing/sanitizing stations and masks available for anyone who is immunocompromised.
Step 2: Convene Your Committee
Planning a family reunion is no small taskand it’s often too much for one person to handle alone. Form a committee by recruiting enthusiastic family members who can help with various tasks.
Assign roles based on individual strengths. For examplelook for the following roles:
- Coordinator: oversee the big-picture planning process and ensure everything stays on track
- Venue-and-logistics manager: scout locationslock up the selected venueand arrange for accommodations and any transportation (if needed)
- Social manager: organize gamesentertainment and other group activities
- Financial manager: someone you trust to collect dues from attendees and oversee the budget
- Communication manager: handle invitationsupdatesreminders and follow-ups with family members.
Involving many people not only lightens your loadbut also helps others take ownership of the event.
Make sure to include younger generations in your preparations. “If there is any concern about sustaining reunionsplanning must be passed early,” says Wagner. “Families who have always involved younger members in planning have an easier time passing [that] planning to the next generation.”
Reunion Jobs
- Lodging liaison: finds accommodations and negotiates group discounts
- Finance director: handles the reunion checking accountmaintains the budget and makes purchases
- Food director: works with the caterer or handles the potluck
- Correspondence officer: communicates with family members
- Entertainment director: organizes activities for a variety of ages
- Reservations officer: tracks who’s coming
- Mementos procurement: gathers family mementos for display
- Welcome committee: makes name tagsagendas and signage; mans registration; helps people mingle
- Keepsakes collector: makes or purchases keepsake favors ahead of timeand passes them out at the gathering
Step 3: Determine DateLocation and Menu
Finding a date that works for everyone can be challengingbut starting early increases the likelihood of success.
Send out a survey or poll to family members to determine the most-convenient time. Summer and holiday weekends are popular choicesbut consider travel costs and schedules when selecting a date. For this reasonwe moved our ALAFFFA reunion to the second weekend in July to avoid the busy July 4th holiday.
If your family enjoys travelingplan the reunion in a scenic location like a beach resortmountain cabinor historic city. Seek nearby picnic areasplaygroundsevent hallshotelsor (for larger groups) community centers. Quietermore-budget-friendly options include a family member’s home or backyard. Regardlessensure the venue and activities are accessible for elderly or physically challenged family members.
Are you in a reunion rut? If it’s at the same time in the same place every yearconsider a change. Something as simple as a new menu (from a potluckfor exampleto a catered meal) and different activities could bring the life back to the party.
Whatever you decidework within your budget and give relatives plenty of notice about the change. Travel logistics can be trickyespecially for far-flung invitees. Provide information on flightscar rentalsand public transit options. Reserve hotel blocks or suggest nearby lodging options. For larger groupsvacation rentals can be a cost-effective alternative.
Your choice of location may also dictate your menu and whether you’ll prepare meals in-househire a caterer or food truckor organize a potluck. Don’t forget to include snacksdesserts and beverages for all-day enjoymentand consider any dietary restrictions or allergies of your attendees.
If you’ll be using a food vendor to provide mealsmake sure you understand the terms of your contract and what services are included. Will you need to bring silverware or dishes? Will the caterer provide the necessary equipment to keep food warm (or cool) until mealtime?
Step 4: Build a Budget
Budgeting is a critical step in planning your reunion. Begin by estimating the total cost of the eventincluding venue feescateringdecorationstransportationand activities. Divide the costs into manageable categories and decide whether the family will pool resources or if attendees will cover their own expenses.
To make the event accessible to all family membersconsider creating tiers of participation. For examplethose who can’t attend the entire event might contribute to a shared fund or pay only for specific activities.
Get creative with fundraising ideastoo. At one of our reunionswe held a raffle for a special family reunion quilt made by my auntHelen Lizanov.
Step 5: Aim for Awesome Activities
Engaging activities are the heart of any successful family reunion. Team sports such as softballvolleyball or cornhole can encourage people to move around and mingle and may even become a part of the tradition.
For exampleour family reunions since the early 2000s have included a cornhole tournament,
complete with trophies for the winning team and our own handcrafted boards with the ALAFFFA logo.
Plan a mix of events that cater to different age groups and interests. “Recruit young people to suggest and stage activities that they and their contemporaries enjoy,” says Wagner. “They may surprise you! Like going roller skating or a trip to the zoo or festivals.”
For those who prefer less-vigorous activitiesyou can play cardsboard gamesor trivia. (See more below.) In 2021we created “J-ALAFFFA-DY,” our own spin on Jeopardy that used a PowerPoint template.
Genealogy-inspired reunion activities for everyone
Section by Diane Haddad
Structured activities are great—even necessary—for getting relatives reacquainted when they’ve been out of touch for years. Roots reunion activities have another objective: to foster the exchange of family history information.
For each activityfind a way to record the memories that surface. Recruit responsible volunteers to take noteshold a video camera or use a tape recorder. The end product will be a piece of family historya source of research leads and perhaps a reunion souvenir. We recommend the following activities:
- Show-and-tell session: Ask everyone to bring an heirloomphoto or other memorabilia and share a story about it.
- Oral history interviews: They can be as simple as pairing up people with questionnairesclipboards and pens. Or for a more “official” resultappoint a few relatives to conduct lengthier sessions.
- Family recipe bake-off: Publish recipes and a bake-off announcement in your reunion newsletter. Let Grandma judge whose apple pie tastes most like her own.
- Story time: Ask older relatives to tell family stories. Prepare promptssuch as “What about the time Grandpa had his tonsils out?” to encourage them if needed.
- Family trivia: Gather entertaining facts about ancestorsand hold a Trivial Pursuit- or spelling bee- quiz. Or you can turn the game into an icebreaker: Give each person a printed list of questions to answer (within a 5- or 10-minute period) by asking other relatives. Small framed photos make good prizes.
- Genealogy workshop or round table: Hold a get-started classask family historians to bring their research and compare notesor treat the group with a research trip to the library or courthouse.
- Nostalgic games: Set up marblescheckershopscotchhorseshoesbaseball or other games your ancestors played.
- Candid camera: Place disposable cameras on tables throughout the room. Kids love themand you’re guaranteed to have plenty of reunion photos.
Don’t depend on these activities to get answers to specific genealogical questionsthough—in the hustle and bustlerelatives might get distracted and forget details. Insteadschedule off-site time to interview great-aunt Ethel or convene with family historians.
Selecting a theme
A theme can cohesively tie all the elements of your reunion together. Use one to plan gamesor have attendees dress up by having attendees dress up. Some of our past popular ALAFFFA themes include:
- Halloweenincluding a costume contest
- Luau with floral Hawaiian shirts and a limbo contest
- Woodstock with tie-dyed shirts and karaoke
- Vacation with our own version of “The Amazing Race,” in which two teams faced off to complete tasks centered on six continents
For the latterwe devised games including a South American rainforest trail mix challenge and a backpack scavenger hunt. Instead of the $1 million prize handed out on the TV showmembers of our “Amazing Race” winning team would each receive “100 Grand” (the candy bar) and other toy prizes.
Artificial intelligence can help you select a theme if you’re feeling stuck. Ask ChatGPT to list 10 fun themes for a family reunionalong with suggestions for activitiesfood and dress code.
Celebrating the family
Once you have a few reunion events on the booksthink about celebrating major family milestones through special events or tributes. For examplewe celebrated the reunion’s 50th anniversary in 2017 by recording a video with clips from each family member saying what ALAFFFA meant to them. We played the finished video at a special dinner during the reunionand there wasn’t a dry eye in the house.
It ended with my uncle Mike saying: “ALAFFFAit’s been 50 years I’ve waited for this day. Now that it’s herehere’s what I say. ALAFFFA my friend is not going away. ALAFFFAALAFFFA is here to stay.”
Don’t forget to celebrate family historytoo. You’ll certainly want to bring along a printed copy of the family tree to explain connectionsbut a mile-long chart might not be the best way to capture the attention of your attendees. You’ll likely generate more interest with displays of photosalbums and heirlooms.
If facta photo-guessing game makes a fun activity. At one of our family reunions with a Pajama Party themefor examplewe had a Name that Napper contest: We plastered a poster board with pictures of family members napping at reunions over the yearsand attendees had to guess who was in each photograph. The person with the most answers received a prizeand the game became a conversation starter.
Another great project is to convert your old home movies and videotapes of past gatherings to DVD or digital files (you were planning to do that anywayright?)or use an online service to play at the reunion.
Sending them home with souvenirs
Section by Diane Haddad
Let attendees take home souvenirs that enhance family unity and share the memories you’ve gathered. Someone (perhaps a designated “keepsakes collector”) can make or purchase mementos ahead of timeand then pass them out at the gathering. Or everyone can contribute to a project during the reunionand you can mail copies of the finished product afterward. To ease distributionhave anyone who wants a copy self-address an appropriate-sized envelope and put postage money inside.
Use one of these suggestions:
- Pedigree charts and family directories: They’re easy to put togetherand you can spice them up with the report options in your genealogy software. Use the reunion newsletter to let relatives update contact information or opt out of being listed.
- Family history book: Mary Briggs of TigardOre.sent an information-gathering letter before her family rendezvous: “I explained that I was going to put together a genealogy book that would be available at the reunion. I also asked for copies of documentsnewspaper clippingsstories or old pictures.” Briggs assembled these contributions with her research materials—a total of 500 pages—and had them copied and put in three-ring binders. She sold the books at costabout $40.
- Videotape or audio of reunion footage: Aside from allowing your cousins to relive the reunion funthis option lets everyone have a “real-time” record of the family history discoveries made during the reunion—it’s ideal for preserving and sharing interviews or storytelling sessions.
- Reunion portrait: Don’t pass up the opportunity to shoot a group photo while you’re all in one place.
- Family recipe book: Along with recipes (solicited in the newsletter)include photos of family bakers and stories about their goodies.
- “Brag book”-sized photo album of family photos: Incorporate pics from those disposable cameras you placed around the roomas well as copies of ancestral photos shared during the festivities. You also might include a photo (or miniature copy) of the family tree chart you displayed.
- Scrapbook: Have each family create a page using provided paperspens and Polaroids (or employ that handy newsletter to ask people to bring photos). Laterscan or color-copy the pages and mail them out.
Step 6: Start Spreading the News
Once the datelocationand budget are finalizedit’s time to send out invitations. The earlier,
the better!
Use platforms like EvitePaperless Postor a private Facebook group to create and manage your invitations. Be sure to include the following:
- Event details (datetime and location)
- RSVP instructions and deadline
- Any costs or contributions required
- A preliminary schedule of activities and/or announcement of the theme
- Contact information for questions.
Make sure you’re contacting relatives in the medium best-suited for them. Somefor examplelikely won’t be on social media or have an email addressso consider mailing printed invitations or calling those relatives on the phone.
Step 7: Keep Connected
Once the event is overkeep the momentum going by maintaining regular communication with your family. Share photos and videosorganize virtual check-insand discuss ideas for future reunions. A regular family newsletter is another option.
A private group chat or social media page can help everyone stay connected year-round. Periodic Zoom or FaceTime meetingsshared photo sites such as Flickror participation in fantasy sports leagues provide opportunities to stay in touch all year long.
Whether you are a first-time planner or a seasoned strategistorganizing an unforgettable family reunion is not as diifficult as you might think. By starting earlyinvolving enthusiastic co-plannersand focusing on meaningful activitiesyou can create an unforgettable experience that everyone will be talking about for years to come.
Related Reads
Versions of this article appeared in the September 2013 and May/June 2025 issues of Family Tree Magazine. Mary Snyder and Diane Haddad wrote similar articles in the April 2001 and June 2004 issuesrespectively.
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